Quoranified !!
Being a blogger who isn't frequent in writing posts, some kind of inspiration comes from things around me.
Of late i have been so obsessed with Quora. Whenever amma sees me, i am so engrossed writing answers in quora. Lol.. Those are such platforms which makes us feel like an psychologist or a relationship expert. Just fill the bio and give your gyan there.
More than writing answers, i am so awed by the kind of questions being asked there. " I am having an extra marital relationship is it right/wrong? " " I am ashamed of my Indian identity and i wanna bring up my son as an American. Is it morally wrong? " " How to divorce my wife, who is having an affair with 3 guys simultaneously. I am a businessman from Chennai. " God, certain questions are scary, it's better not to answer such questions . So i just read through such questions and answers and move to the next one,
I have been quite active in giving gyan about arranged marriage related ones. Now don't ask me how am i eligible but i am kind of eligible to advice in the process if not post marriage scenarios. The sense of contentment it gives me to give such a gyan makes me feel like an arranged marriage expert lol ! Free advice where no one will beat you up for giving one lol!
Jokes apart, certain questions did make me think seriously about the current arranged marriage scenario in our country. When someone posts a question asking if he can cancel the engagement because he feels she might not be the one or he doesn't find chemistry or even feels my wife is independent and hence we can't say together with my parents. What is the salary package a girl expects in an arranged marriage scenario to choose a groom and so on.. I felt, guys were asking more questions than the girls regarding arranged marriage. They seem to have that fear more than the girls.
After nearly 5 years of experience in groom hunting in the arranged marriage scenario, i should say i have matured a lot. The expectations i had before 3 years is not there now. Seeing my friends married and their married life, i had to understand the reality of marriage. I could understand the attitude of people these days. Most of them are not sure of their priorities in an arranged marriage. I realized what is more important . I have passed that expecting a fairy tale stage of married life and now i have realized what a big responsibility marriage is.
I realized why people crib about money almost everyday. I realized why people are bent on impressing people around them. I understood why they look down upon people who don't do the same things as the other people do.
I started thinking why marriages were better in our parents generation. Why marriages survived despite having no common interests between them. There was peace in the family. Non working mothers never complained. Dads earning single income provided the best to their children. Nobody felt the woman of the house had to earn for a comfortable living.
Why do our generation crib about money despite earning so many times more than our parents. I realized our generation wants to have an own house at the age of 25. They want to own a car at the age of 23. They have started feeling their status in their society rises only if they have an own house or car at such young age. They start taking big loans with a futuristic thoughts that they will marry a girl who is earning so much to contribute to their EMIs. I don't blame men, girls look down upon such guys and term them as not a marriage material if they are not ready with a house/car when they are married.
Most of our parents generation, how many owned a car at the time of wedding? How many holidays abroad/inside India have we gone prior to marriage to expect such a compulsory condition from the husband post marriage giving it a name of common interest of travelling. Should i blame the corporate culture to have spoilt people and made them feel two big holidays a year is compulsory. We used to have such great time visiting grandparents during our holidays or some were taken only to temples during holidays. Children these days are unaware of meenakshi amman temple or even kabalishwar temple but they seem to boast about visiting angkor wat temple. The rise in Annimoon and babymoons ,and each trip being planned abroad, others who are visiting the beautiful leh/ladakh or kasauli or manali or even our ooty/kodai are looked own upon for not visiting places abroad.
Do we have to be adventurous in every trip we go? People of our generation have no idea of how beautiful it is to just relax in the comfortable hotel room amidst the beautiful scenery of western ghats.
Guys cribbing about girls not willing to stay with his parents post marriage in quora has really irritated me. Girls are equally educated and are earning very well. They are slogging at work,and they might not feel like cooking at home or getting up early. This might not be liked by most of the in laws and hence she prefers to stay separately. Guys have become so selfish that he needs an equally qualified girl earning pretty well to help him repay his EMI and wants his parents to stay together so that his mom, who wants to relax at this age, but works like a servant for all the working people at home and becomes a full time ayah to take care of the baby when DIL goes for work. Guys for his selfish reasons , torture his own parents and gets the DIL a bad name for not being able to look after the house because she is working. Why can't the guy look out for a not so career oriented girl if he is really bothered about his parents?
Finally i have understood our generation people have become so selfish. They want everything in the early stages of career,a house,car etc. They make their lives miserable with those EMIs. All they care about is only themselves. They don't bother about their husbands, or wife or parents. They are bringing up their children with wrong priorities in life. Nobody wants to teach their child that as children you need to wait till a particular age to get your mobile phones or ipads. There is a saying in hindi. " Jitna kapda hai, utna hi kaato. " Meaning cut the cloth according to what is available, else the cloth will become totally useless.
When i was sitting and writing this whole thing, amma got scared and asked me , " What are you writing on quora, i am scared that you have been writing something long for the past few mins. Don't play with somebody else's life by giving free advice.! " I looked at her terrified face and laughed and told her i am writing a blog. She had a big sigh of relief ! lol. Oh no wait , i have got a notification from quora, let me .......
Of late i have been so obsessed with Quora. Whenever amma sees me, i am so engrossed writing answers in quora. Lol.. Those are such platforms which makes us feel like an psychologist or a relationship expert. Just fill the bio and give your gyan there.
More than writing answers, i am so awed by the kind of questions being asked there. " I am having an extra marital relationship is it right/wrong? " " I am ashamed of my Indian identity and i wanna bring up my son as an American. Is it morally wrong? " " How to divorce my wife, who is having an affair with 3 guys simultaneously. I am a businessman from Chennai. " God, certain questions are scary, it's better not to answer such questions . So i just read through such questions and answers and move to the next one,
I have been quite active in giving gyan about arranged marriage related ones. Now don't ask me how am i eligible but i am kind of eligible to advice in the process if not post marriage scenarios. The sense of contentment it gives me to give such a gyan makes me feel like an arranged marriage expert lol ! Free advice where no one will beat you up for giving one lol!
Jokes apart, certain questions did make me think seriously about the current arranged marriage scenario in our country. When someone posts a question asking if he can cancel the engagement because he feels she might not be the one or he doesn't find chemistry or even feels my wife is independent and hence we can't say together with my parents. What is the salary package a girl expects in an arranged marriage scenario to choose a groom and so on.. I felt, guys were asking more questions than the girls regarding arranged marriage. They seem to have that fear more than the girls.
After nearly 5 years of experience in groom hunting in the arranged marriage scenario, i should say i have matured a lot. The expectations i had before 3 years is not there now. Seeing my friends married and their married life, i had to understand the reality of marriage. I could understand the attitude of people these days. Most of them are not sure of their priorities in an arranged marriage. I realized what is more important . I have passed that expecting a fairy tale stage of married life and now i have realized what a big responsibility marriage is.
I realized why people crib about money almost everyday. I realized why people are bent on impressing people around them. I understood why they look down upon people who don't do the same things as the other people do.
I started thinking why marriages were better in our parents generation. Why marriages survived despite having no common interests between them. There was peace in the family. Non working mothers never complained. Dads earning single income provided the best to their children. Nobody felt the woman of the house had to earn for a comfortable living.
Why do our generation crib about money despite earning so many times more than our parents. I realized our generation wants to have an own house at the age of 25. They want to own a car at the age of 23. They have started feeling their status in their society rises only if they have an own house or car at such young age. They start taking big loans with a futuristic thoughts that they will marry a girl who is earning so much to contribute to their EMIs. I don't blame men, girls look down upon such guys and term them as not a marriage material if they are not ready with a house/car when they are married.
Most of our parents generation, how many owned a car at the time of wedding? How many holidays abroad/inside India have we gone prior to marriage to expect such a compulsory condition from the husband post marriage giving it a name of common interest of travelling. Should i blame the corporate culture to have spoilt people and made them feel two big holidays a year is compulsory. We used to have such great time visiting grandparents during our holidays or some were taken only to temples during holidays. Children these days are unaware of meenakshi amman temple or even kabalishwar temple but they seem to boast about visiting angkor wat temple. The rise in Annimoon and babymoons ,and each trip being planned abroad, others who are visiting the beautiful leh/ladakh or kasauli or manali or even our ooty/kodai are looked own upon for not visiting places abroad.
Do we have to be adventurous in every trip we go? People of our generation have no idea of how beautiful it is to just relax in the comfortable hotel room amidst the beautiful scenery of western ghats.
Guys cribbing about girls not willing to stay with his parents post marriage in quora has really irritated me. Girls are equally educated and are earning very well. They are slogging at work,and they might not feel like cooking at home or getting up early. This might not be liked by most of the in laws and hence she prefers to stay separately. Guys have become so selfish that he needs an equally qualified girl earning pretty well to help him repay his EMI and wants his parents to stay together so that his mom, who wants to relax at this age, but works like a servant for all the working people at home and becomes a full time ayah to take care of the baby when DIL goes for work. Guys for his selfish reasons , torture his own parents and gets the DIL a bad name for not being able to look after the house because she is working. Why can't the guy look out for a not so career oriented girl if he is really bothered about his parents?
Finally i have understood our generation people have become so selfish. They want everything in the early stages of career,a house,car etc. They make their lives miserable with those EMIs. All they care about is only themselves. They don't bother about their husbands, or wife or parents. They are bringing up their children with wrong priorities in life. Nobody wants to teach their child that as children you need to wait till a particular age to get your mobile phones or ipads. There is a saying in hindi. " Jitna kapda hai, utna hi kaato. " Meaning cut the cloth according to what is available, else the cloth will become totally useless.
When i was sitting and writing this whole thing, amma got scared and asked me , " What are you writing on quora, i am scared that you have been writing something long for the past few mins. Don't play with somebody else's life by giving free advice.! " I looked at her terrified face and laughed and told her i am writing a blog. She had a big sigh of relief ! lol. Oh no wait , i have got a notification from quora, let me .......
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