okay!!!!what kinda attitude is this?
hey guys... am here to talk about some issue which i find very irritating.... ok..... gurls when they become 21 or 22.... the so called "Marriage talks" will start everywhere around them..okay now that i have become 22 n i decided to give the responsibility of getting me married, to my parents,i decided to get mentally prepared to this very unimpressive arranged marriage thingy!!by looking at those matrimonial websites,newspaper ads n so on!!!to have an idea,how guys look,what kinda family background,their educational level n the most important things THEIR EXPECTATIONS about the gurl!!!!am here to talk about tat!!
okay!!lemme start!! looks are important for me....esp wen its an arranged marriage...so generally i see profiles which has pics n the ones whom i find impressive.i see their about me column,some are one liners,some have something of no relevance,some has info about the family more than about the guy,some has limericks.. lol... and some are really impressive(a bigg about me)!!!and lotta guys actually most of them hav done their bachelors in engg,or masters,or CAs or MBAs..... n many r well settled earning good salary ..infact a very good salary.... for eg; 26 yr olds earning 11 laks per annum in india....
but d pissing part of it.... his expectations : employed gurl must!!my question here is......wen a guy earning so welll at this young age feels he cannot support one extra member wit his earnings n needs her to be employed,wy the hell should he even marry??!is it some kinda greediness or not contented with his earnings or...??i dunno..... and most of them,they expect only engg grad,or CAs or MBAs as their life partner......i agree its good to have qualified mothers.. but it doesn mean those courses r d oly professional courses out there!!
and i even saw another profile wer d guy had written he can forsee his future with his wife,both of them doing MBA in the same coll.. damn!!who the hell is he to enforce his dream on his wife who's still unknown?!!i mean wat kinda attitude is that?most of them,inspite of very good earnings expect an employed gurl..and a prefix must is added to it!!god!!here's another thing....expectations: needed a homely gurl,who's employed....mannn gimme a break!!if he needs a homely gurl then y should she be employed.. or if he needs a working gurl,why the hell should she be homely!!!ummm.....i don have answers!!
prob is not only with guys expectation... most of the gurls,they expect guys who hav passed out only from prestigious institutes... thats not wrong... but when they themselves have not passed out from such institutes,y are they so specific?not every capable guy can get admission into such institutes......matter of luck in many cases,guys could hav joined in other good institutes...
seeing all such attitude in people,my mind makes me think... what is a marriage???its where 2 ppl n their whole family unite to have a meaningful,understanding,supportive life together which involves ups n downs which are faced together with full understanding and mature decisions!!The wife being employed or highly qualified will never help the course of life run smooth.... its just the attitude towards life,importance given to things n priorities in life which'll complete a happy married life... are people signing some business deals where both partners are equally qualified?dude its marriage... no business involved here... you r living for yourself and not for others to know u have a highly qualified wife or a husb who's passed out from prestigious institutes!!
and this problem,people come and ask me.... wat have u done??engg,CA?MBA?... err... i was doin CA but felt i wasn d one for it so i discontinued it.... reply.. oh god.. do u really understand what a blunder u have done in life?do u know how important it is to be professionally qualified??u wont even get a groom....in this competitive world .. blah blah blah... red blood same blood!!i smile... and tel them i can understand n ill wil continue my CA later.... gosh!!!i hate to lie.. but am forced to.. cos i cant tel elders... pls its my wish and its better if you really don poke your nose into it or else ill punch you!!damn these good manners!!my hands are tied from punching them and so is my tongue!!!
i really wanna ask is this prevailing oly in this TAMBRAM community or is it d same everywhere?why the hell do people think only if a person has done engg or CAs or MBAs,they are intelligent???damn... there are lotta engg without common sense,lotta ppl doin CA without analytical skills n MBAs who don even know why they are doin it.guys and gurls feel free to do something what you like and nothin for the society!!please understand the value of human beings and just understand the clear meaning of a marriage before getting into one....am not here to advise.. but i really felt sad at the way people are and the level of importance given to human feelings.....feel free to post your comments let it be anything....cheerssss!!maddy
okay!!lemme start!! looks are important for me....esp wen its an arranged marriage...so generally i see profiles which has pics n the ones whom i find impressive.i see their about me column,some are one liners,some have something of no relevance,some has info about the family more than about the guy,some has limericks.. lol... and some are really impressive(a bigg about me)!!!and lotta guys actually most of them hav done their bachelors in engg,or masters,or CAs or MBAs..... n many r well settled earning good salary ..infact a very good salary.... for eg; 26 yr olds earning 11 laks per annum in india....
but d pissing part of it.... his expectations : employed gurl must!!my question here is......wen a guy earning so welll at this young age feels he cannot support one extra member wit his earnings n needs her to be employed,wy the hell should he even marry??!is it some kinda greediness or not contented with his earnings or...??i dunno..... and most of them,they expect only engg grad,or CAs or MBAs as their life partner......i agree its good to have qualified mothers.. but it doesn mean those courses r d oly professional courses out there!!
and i even saw another profile wer d guy had written he can forsee his future with his wife,both of them doing MBA in the same coll.. damn!!who the hell is he to enforce his dream on his wife who's still unknown?!!i mean wat kinda attitude is that?most of them,inspite of very good earnings expect an employed gurl..and a prefix must is added to it!!god!!here's another thing....expectations: needed a homely gurl,who's employed....mannn gimme a break!!if he needs a homely gurl then y should she be employed.. or if he needs a working gurl,why the hell should she be homely!!!ummm.....i don have answers!!
prob is not only with guys expectation... most of the gurls,they expect guys who hav passed out only from prestigious institutes... thats not wrong... but when they themselves have not passed out from such institutes,y are they so specific?not every capable guy can get admission into such institutes......matter of luck in many cases,guys could hav joined in other good institutes...
seeing all such attitude in people,my mind makes me think... what is a marriage???its where 2 ppl n their whole family unite to have a meaningful,understanding,supportive life together which involves ups n downs which are faced together with full understanding and mature decisions!!The wife being employed or highly qualified will never help the course of life run smooth.... its just the attitude towards life,importance given to things n priorities in life which'll complete a happy married life... are people signing some business deals where both partners are equally qualified?dude its marriage... no business involved here... you r living for yourself and not for others to know u have a highly qualified wife or a husb who's passed out from prestigious institutes!!
and this problem,people come and ask me.... wat have u done??engg,CA?MBA?... err... i was doin CA but felt i wasn d one for it so i discontinued it.... reply.. oh god.. do u really understand what a blunder u have done in life?do u know how important it is to be professionally qualified??u wont even get a groom....in this competitive world .. blah blah blah... red blood same blood!!i smile... and tel them i can understand n ill wil continue my CA later.... gosh!!!i hate to lie.. but am forced to.. cos i cant tel elders... pls its my wish and its better if you really don poke your nose into it or else ill punch you!!damn these good manners!!my hands are tied from punching them and so is my tongue!!!
i really wanna ask is this prevailing oly in this TAMBRAM community or is it d same everywhere?why the hell do people think only if a person has done engg or CAs or MBAs,they are intelligent???damn... there are lotta engg without common sense,lotta ppl doin CA without analytical skills n MBAs who don even know why they are doin it.guys and gurls feel free to do something what you like and nothin for the society!!please understand the value of human beings and just understand the clear meaning of a marriage before getting into one....am not here to advise.. but i really felt sad at the way people are and the level of importance given to human feelings.....feel free to post your comments let it be anything....cheerssss!!maddy
Comments
a. So you were talking abt guys who expect like a million things from da wife-to-be.. She's gotta be extremely well qualified academically, doing a high-power job, earning like an incredible salary. I think guys think like dat, cuz, I guess, in this cosmopolitan world, wid so many different habits dat ppl have taken up, a highly qualified wife would be worldy-wise and someone who'd have a good tolerance level toward da lifestyle in da metros...
But then again, you'd ask...If guys like having such professionally qualified wives, who keep working round da clock without an ounce of domestication in them. hehehe... Avaa ellaam pattu thaan therinjikanum.. :D
b. Abt da girls, who look for such highly qualified guys... I think, it is to do wid da family, community who keep oppressing such ideas on our heads. Da guy has to be wid a combo of IIT+MS & Phd from an Ivy League Uni in da US (and not any other country) and working either in Boston on da east or da Bay Area in da west or IIT+IIM and working in an MNC Bank or consulting firm or even a CA. it is almost always an Engg degree along wid an MS from US or an MBA from a premier institution. Any other option is only grudgingly taken. Since most of da boys in TamBhram community follow in only these career options, it is easy for gals' parents to not look at any other option...Only an occasional Mani Ratnam emerges out of this community (I'm talking abt da anomalies in career options).. But I have to accept dat trends are also changing these days...
c. Da most basic thing i could think of was dat, when guys look out for a wife, they have a million expectations... Da physical attributes, character, sense of humour, patience, attitude, etc.. there're so many of them... But in an arranged marriage proposal, you can never see any of these clearly except apart from da physical looks. Unless, they have a long engagement (even then, you get engaged and then get to know da gal)... So, da only thing apart from physical looks dat can be seen wid naked eye on da spot is da gal's academic qualification. A higher qualification might suggest da girl's interests, diligence in work etc.. and also give them an idea whether dat girl would be socially suitable to them wid respect to habits and stuff. But all this is nonsense anyway.. cuz, professional qualification is not gonna give them dat love or affection, or even mutual respect between them... All in all, it comes down to da basic human characteristics to be able to like or even love a person.. However professionally qualified a person is, it's da human thing dat counts...
Whateva happened to personality!?
After a lot of debates with my wife, I discovered its true for men and women.
Money, intellect, Looks brings along with it ego, arrogance, self opinion, jealousy etc.
Its impossible to live without expectations. Today couple struggle with the expectations of each other and also the expectations of the environment they iive in, parents, relatives, friends, colleagues.
Emotional people make decisions based on their expectations and find they have to also manage the expectations of others. Practical people make decisions based on others expectations and then struggle as they have to live the life, especially when environment changes